Wednesday, October 23, 2024 at 01:05 PM in Depression, Honor + Integrity, Leadership | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Tuesday, October 22, 2024 at 01:04 PM in Depression | Permalink | Comments (0)
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‘Wisdom comes to the heart that is hungry for God.’ (A.W. Tozer)
Whenever I feel discouraged and want to quit something, I remember the words of my then 3-year-old after she puked carrots all over the living room floor: “I’m gonna need more carrots.”
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‘As a leader, you will have to make decisions that those whom you lead and even spectators won’t understand for years.’
(Dr. Eric Mason)
Leaders are targets for the Enemy. If you’re leading out front, then of course you’re going to be on the receiving end of fiery darts. Expect it.
Misunderstandings and miscommunications will happen.
You cannot control other people’s perceptions. You can only control your own actions and reactions.
Be careful with what you hear about someone. You might be hearing it from the problem.
As soon as we step into condemnation instead of conversation, we can no longer see that person clearly.
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‘A perverse man sows strife and a whisperer separates the best of friends.’ (Proverbs 16:28)
People don’t own you when they hurt you. They own you when your entire life is defined by that hurt.
If you’ve been burned, heal. If someone has an issue with you and they’re telling everyone except you, they don’t have a real issue with you. They just enjoy the attention they get from talking about you.
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‘Love God and He will enable you to love others even when they disappoint you.’ (Francine Rivers)
The only way to handle ‘prodigals’ is to let them go, give them to God, and pray for their return with tears. And when you see them on the horizon with their head hung low, wrap your arms around them and welcome them home.
We are all rough drafts of the person we are becoming.
Don’t be afraid to start over. It’s a chance to build something better this time!
Sure, the winds feel strong and your team is small.
Stand firm.
If you set your anchor, you won’t drift.
Monday, October 21, 2024 at 06:04 PM in Church Start-Up, Depression, Leadership | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2 and he began to teach them.
He said:
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
It’s hard to be meek when factions rise up within a church. We get wrapped up in factions.
FACTIONS - When there is a pile-up of disgruntled people who build up a case that becomes a driving fantasy. Driven by the “What If?”
Factions live their lives on something that has not happened. It takes great skill to deal with factions, this is why we have Therapists! Sometimes we can’t get resolution, just accept it.
Give up the right to be treated right.
Anger is secondary to a Hurt. Body is so hyped that it FEELS helpless, resentment, fear and anxiety. This is Paranoia.
When there is trauma, the body becomes hypersensitive – Your body wants OUT of this! You move from prudence to paranoia.
People will try to FOG you: Fear, Obligation, and Guilt. You can’t drive forward when your windshield is fogged up! If I can get you to feel one of these three feelings, I can control and manipulate you.
Ex: Small children and parents
Students and substitute teachers
Elderly parents and adult children
Politicians and the public
To avoid being manipulated, practice DeFogging – Clarity is kindness. “Now it’s clear. Now I’m free.”
Clarity assigns responsibility so you can forgive.
If you can’t forgive, you’re stuck.
The goal is clarity – Learn to accept real expectations. Live with it. Sometimes you get validation, sometimes not.
Every feeling has a THOUGHT attached to it: “My right to be treated right is violated.”
This leads to Hostility and Harshness - the Law of the Jungle.
MEEKNESS is the opposite of Harshness.
Gentle and kind is not natural. But it allows God’s supernatural work into your soul.
Philippians 2
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”[c] Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky 16 as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. 17 But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18 So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.
Jesus became MEEK rather than HOSTILE.
You have to give up your right to be treated right.
Rights are things you can’t control because you can’t control the other person.
REPLACE your right to be treated right with God’s Promises!
This leads to God’s power in your life – resurrection of good things out of factions.
Don’t fight for your natural rights and watch God bless through His supernatural economy.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Saturday, October 12, 2024 at 04:06 PM in Church Start-Up, Depression, Honor + Integrity, Leadership | Permalink | Comments (0)
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One of the most taboo subjects in the Church is wrestling with infertility.
1 in 8 couples will discover they are infertile, meaning there are a lot of people in our pews silently suffering.
To that end, we recently addressed this topic in a raw and real venue with both myself and my wife taking the stage.
Monday, September 16, 2024 at 06:48 PM in Adoption, Depression | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Back when we launched Life Church in 2013, I gave a message that summer on navigating a break-up or betrayal.
I recently stumbled upon my message notes from that Sunday and thought I’d share them here, for what it’s worth!
- Paul and Barnabus part ways in Acts 15:35-38. If break-up and betrayal could happen to the Gospel All-Stars, it can and will happen to you and me!
- Followers of Jesus are not promised rainbows, skittles, and unicorns. You WILL have troubles and heartaches!
- You can't please everyone but you can keep reconciliation as your goal.
Step One in a Betrayal or Break-Up: Your REACTION determines your REACH.
- Jesus gives very practical instructions in Matthew 18:15-17 on how to deal with people who have hurt you: go to the person quickly, privately, and humbly!
- Verse 17 does NOT advocate shunning. Who Would Jesus Shun?
- "But they deserve to be shunned." Really? Even if everything you say about this person is true, are you treating them the way Jesus would treat them? If someone is acting like a pagan or tax collector, how would Jesus approach them...?
- Jesus always walked TOWARD people, not AWAY!
- If someone is taking shots at your children, I'm sorry, but that is demonic. You are never more like Satan than when you accuse and you are never more like Jesus than when you advocate and forgive!
- Ephesians 4:26-27 tells us to deal with our issues TODAY. Don't allow "little" beefs to get bottled up over time or you will explode like a volcano.
Step Two in a Betrayal or Break-Up: Nobody wins when you trash talk.
- Have a beef? Don't blab it on Facebook... go to the person and get it resolved!
- If you are a man or woman of God, you do NOT have permission to accuse or slander.
- If you are a son or daughter of the Most High, honor and integrity are your shield. Even if you are accused and innocent, it is not necessary to defend yourself in the public square (I am speaking from EXPERIENCE here!!).
- Ephesians 6:12 tells us that if they have flesh and blood, they are NOT our enemy! The Enemy is the enemy!!
Step Three in a Betrayal or Break-Up:
Moving on doesn't mean you've stopped caring; it means you can't change it.
- Always keep the Welcome Mat out for reconciliation but never for condemnation.
Thursday, June 20, 2024 at 06:56 PM in Depression, Honor + Integrity, Leadership | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Nobody enjoys a car wreck, but we all inevitably slow down in traffic to peer out the window as we drive by, attempting to ascertain what happened and to (hopefully) learn something that will prevent such a tragedy from happening to us.
With over 20 years of full-time ministry under my belt (plus another 20+ as a pastor's kid), I've seen my share of ugly wrecks in church world. I'm sure you've also heard the stories -- usually whispered around a kitchen table -- of a minor church disagreement erupting into a full-blown church split that affects lives and livelihoods, leaving a black eye on the local Body of Christ.
The stories of church splits are never fun. Real people get hurt. Reputations are slandered. Hurt and heartache can echo for years due to unhealed wounds. And nobody wins: not the church of origin nor the newly formed congregation that results from a church split.
Perhaps by looking at one church split story, we can all learn how to better guard our unity within the church that Christ bled for (Acts 20:28).
This story is my story. You see, three years ago, I went through a church split as the lead pastor (and founding pastor) of a church I love dearly.
I barely survived the trauma of what one of my counselor's diagnosed as a "mass casualty event" (Yes, I said counselors plural. Even pastors need therapy to ensure they are emotionally-healthy.).
The first thing you should know about church splits is this: at the time of this church split, even though I was the Founding Pastor, I had no idea what was happening behind my back.
My wife and I were not privy to the cruel whispers and private gossip sessions engulfing our staff team and then spilling out into the membership during the COVID lockdowns.
Looking back, I wish there was some sort of ministry alarm that would go off and alert a lead pastor when he is in danger of facing a church split. But, there isn't one. You usually have no idea that a church split is happening under your nose until after it has already occurred and the damage has been done.
My wife and I were completely taken by surprise. We were focused on the primary crisis of navigating COVID lockdowns and frantically fundraising for our staff team. During a crisis when I was putting out fires from COVID, I would look behind me for a bucket of water to be handed up to me... only to realize there was nobody behind me helping.
During this insane season of the COVID crisis now layered with an internal insurrection, I thought and truly believed that a minor misunderstanding at the staff level could be easily resolved with one honest and simple 5 minute conversation (and I still believe that to this day!).
Unfortunately, when you're the lead pastor and staff members try to hijack the church out from under you, behind-the-scenes conversations and condemnations move quickly behind the pastor's back and rumors can spread like wildfire on Facebook.
So, in the interest of helping church leaders who read this blog and sparing you from the immense pain and hurt and betrayal of a church split in the future, allow me to ask and answer the main question: What is the cause of church splits?
In a word: factions.
Factions arise when there is a pile-up of disgruntled people who build up a case that becomes a driving fantasy.
Factions are driven by the What If:
"What if my assumptions are correct?"
"What if the rumors I've heard are true?
"What if my pastor - the same guy who led me to Christ and baptized me - what if he is actually a rotten person?"
Factions sadly live their lives on something that has not actually happened.
Factions thrive on anger. Why anger?
When someone is hurt or experiences pain in their life, the person will often seek to numb the inward pain with outward anger.
Anger is always secondary to a deeper hurt. Anger allows the brain to release key hormones that soothe and numb the pain.
When someone is driven by anger, they can become emotionally-flooded. This makes peaceful resolution difficult. Perhaps this is why the Apostle Paul wrote:
"Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently." (Galatians 6:1)
When angry people pile-up, you have a faction. Factions are very manipulative and will often warp facts to fit their narrative. Because anger arousal is high, it is difficult for the faction to parse facts from fiction.
This is why the Scriptures warn believers against bitterness:
"See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." (Hebrews 12:15)
When factions form, conflict is inevitable.
The solution involves honest, gospel-centered conversation:
"Contrary to our instincts, hard conversations usually don't kill relationships.
They save them.
It's choosing the short, life-saving pain of surgery over the long-term, fatal pain of cancer."
(Josh Howerton)
Galatians 6:1 and Matthew 18:15-17 say to go to our brother.
Ephesians 4:25-27 says to go without delay.
If a faction shuns/ghosts/refuses you, you can still forgive them.
Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a choice.
You have the rightful choice to untether your heart from their hurt.
"You can forgive even if the person who wronged you is unrepentant.
You can repent even if the person you've wronged won't forgive you.
But there can be no reconciliation without repentance from the wrong and forgiveness from the wronged."
(Jared Wilson)
"Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."
(Ephesians 4:3)
At the church I love, we have decided on three proactive approaches to head off the forming of any future factions.
For what it's worth, here is what we have learned from this heartbreaking experience:
1. We will always choose conversation over condemnation.
2. We will always seek to maintain the relationship over trying to win an argument.
3. We will always speak with honesty, not hypocrisy.
And as always, I choose to remain open and ready to meet with anyone, anytime, anywhere with a humble heart and a listening ear.
Wednesday, October 11, 2023 at 07:23 PM in Depression, Honor + Integrity | Permalink | Comments (0)
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I've often been asked the question: What is the difference between people who thrive and people who decline over a long period of time? It’s not that they don’t get knocked down; it’s that they bounce back up.
Every successful person I can think of has had to come back from discouraging circumstances. That’s true of people I know personally and those I read about in the Bible.
As a matter of fact, every single person in the Bible is a comeback story from something.
Check out this list and see if you can find yourself:
Joseph endured mistreatment from a dysfunctional family. I bet there isn’t anyone who doesn’t have some relative the others try not to sit next to at Christmas dinner.
David bounced back from several devastating failures: moral, leadership, career, and even worse. Have any past failures? A great comeback is possible!
Elijah suffered personal criticism. I speak to hundreds of people every weekend. Usually, people each week write in or come up to say something encouraging. I remember very little of that. But I can tell you every critical comment. Why do we remember the things we ought to forget, and forget the things we ought to remember?
Nehemiah was discouraged with harsh political, legal, and social circumstances at the highest levels. He had wall-to-wall problems—literally.
John Mark was rejected by a high-ranking Christian leader. I know people for whom one negative comment from an authority figure—be it a teacher, a pastor, or a coach—has marked them for life.
Peter was disappointed with his inability to withstand pressure and also disappointed with himself. Sound familiar? My number one source of discouragement is, unfortunately, myself.
Jesus was let down by people of all types—friends, relatives, religious leaders. At His hour of greatest need, He takes three guys and says, “I need your support.” When He comes back, they are fast asleep.
In almost every case, whether somebody bounces back or not has to do with one question: “Does that person have hope?” Hope looks at what can be instead of what is. Hope looks at the future rather than just the past. Hope believes in future possibility rather than resigning to current reality. People bounce back when they have hope.
Tuesday, January 03, 2023 at 06:11 PM in Depression, God, Leadership | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Thinking of starting a new church from scratch?
Got the itch to "graduate" from leading the youth group to becoming the lead pastor of your own thing?
Sure, church planting looks hot and sexy on Instagram, but take it from me, there are 5 Reasons Church Planting Will Ruin Your Life:
5. Get Used To Being Broke.
You will never have all the resources you used to have at your cushy, all-expenses-paid, endowed former established church. Church planting is like Adulting for Church Leaders: you'll learn very quickly that receipts matter and you'll have to get used to raising cash for your salary and ministry needs.
The good news? You're reaching people far from God. The bad news? Baby Christians don't tithe.
There's a reason the Apostle Paul wrote so many fundraising letters (I'm looking at you, 2 Corinthians). Stop whining and get used to it.
4. Get Used to Being Misunderstood.
You're a dreamer, like Joseph. You can pitch a crowd on what could be and what should be with both hands tied behind your back and blindfolded. Vision is just your thing.
And because you're seeking to persuade people to join your cause, you will be misunderstood. Some church people will assume you're in it for the money (*ahem* See #5 above). Others will think you want to become the next attention-starved Celebrity Pastor.
Here's the thing: They won't actually come to you with their "concerns." Instead of a face-to-face conversation, misunderstandings happen through behind-the-scenes condemnation. You'll be going through life, doing ministry, minding your own business when WHAM-O! You're socked from the rear by a book-length Facebook post that tags everyone in your church.
Not cool, but it really does happen. A lot.
Whatever the case, just remember that passive aggressiveness is not a fruit of the Spirit. Put on that Ephesians 6 Armor and suck it up because being misunderstood sucks.
3. Get Used to Having Zero Vacation Time.
When you're the only staff member on staff, who can you trust to fill in for you? Further, if you really do believe that every Sunday is somebody's first Sunday, do you want their first Sunday to be a JV experience?
You see, it's not that you don't have dedicated, carved out vacation time on the calendar... It's that you are constantly in Vision / Survival Mode and it requires your direct attention. This makes missing a Sunday nearly impossible. Is this healthy? No, and that is why you will need to really think through a strategy for getting dedicated time off to recharge your batteries.
2. Get Used to the High Turn-Over Rate.
Just like Shakira's hips, statistics don't lie. Do you know what percentage of your church start-up will experience turnover two years in? 100%. That's right, complete turn-over.
Starting a church from scratch requires sacrificial amounts of energy, time, giving, and buy-in. It will wear on your people over time.
Get ready for experiencing pain. In fact, your pain threshold is also your leadership lid. Love people and hold them loosely with open hands. Bless them on the way out but don't be shocked when they're on their way out.
1. Get Used to Collapsing at Jesus' Feet.
At the end of the day, Jesus is the Senior Pastor of your church; you're just an undershepherd (see 1 Peter 5). This means that He is responsible for what happens in your church start-up, not you. It's His church, not yours.
And so you can cast your cares on Him because He really, really does care for you.
Collapsing at Jesus' Feet gets you off your pedestal and into a position of submission. Advancing the church on your knees is the best strategy for reaching people far from God.
Monday, November 21, 2022 at 05:12 PM in Church Start-Up, Depression, Life Church, MultiSite / Franchising | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Church leaders are seeking fresh ways to prevent "backdoor exits" and adapt to shifting membership.
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by Maria Baer
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The membership packet for new congregants at Cross City Church in Columbus, Ohio, is pretty straightforward. There’s a section enumerating the church’s “essential doctrines,” including creedal beliefs like the Trinity and the saving work of Jesus on the cross. There’s a section about church leadership and discipline, explaining the church’s process when a member sins.
And there’s a curious section under membership, “How to Be Sent Out or Leave the Church”:
There are many ways in which God calls His children out of one spiritual family into another. Physical moving, leading to a new mission and disagreement are all ways in which He moves His children. All these may happen without sin and with a full and righteous leading of the Spirit. … We pray and ask the members of Cross City to be prayerful, honest and communicate concerns, offenses, hopes, ideas and convictions in an early fashion, rather than allowing them to fester in isolation and cause division, hurt, or other ungodly effects within God’s family.
Cross City is part of the Evangelical Free Church of America, but church leadership came up with the idea for this section themselves.
Despite having a written policy against ghosting, pastor Scott Burns said the majority of people who’ve left over the church’s 11-year history departed without notice. “They just get quiet,” he said. “And one week turns into four, which turns into six.”
Pandemic shifts, along with rising political and social divisions, have made ghosting a major problem for pastors across the country. Across demographics, US adults are less likely to attend church than they were two years ago, according to the American Family Survey. While some slowly came back from shutdowns and pandemic restrictions, Pew Research Center reported in March 2022 that the return to church had plateaued. Odds are, if they were coming back, they’d be back by now.
Even before the pandemic, church membership wasn’t stagnant, and pastors knew not to take it personally when congregants left. The natural bends and twists of life—relocations, college attendance, job changes, deaths—mean all church bodies turn over with time. Yet the quiet, unexpected departures leave a lingering sting. With all the recent upheaval, it’s a feeling that’s become harder to ignore.
At Concord Church in Dallas, pastor Bryan Carter said attendance at Sunday gatherings is only about 65 percent of what it used to be, while online gatherings have grown by 400 percent. It’s hard to know who left for good, who moved online, and who joined.
Two years into the pandemic, pastors like Burns and Carter are eager to create a church culture that discourages ghosting in the first place.
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Ghosting is dating parlance. It means to go radio silent in the middle of a budding online romance. In that world, to reach out to a “ghost” is bad form—it’s desperate or creepy. So this isn’t the perfect analogy for those who leave a church body with no word.
When members or regular attendees leave a church without explanation, pastors have a few choices, but all come with sensitivities. If you ignore departures, you risk overlooking potential problems in the church that prompted people to leave.
If you reach out to follow up with leaving congregants, you risk exacerbating hurt feelings on both sides. Even asking questions could put pressure on the former members, implying leaders are angry or against them.
Many pastors are burdened to reach out to leavers, whether to make sure the church didn’t cause harm or to extend a shepherd’s crook to the wayward, just as the shepherd in Jesus’ parable of the lost sheep in Matthew 18 left his 99 to seek the one that “wandered off.”
Darryl DelHousaye is chancellor of Phoenix Seminary and was a longtime pastor at Scottsdale Bible Church, a 7,500-person congregation. He doesn’t remember learning about how to deal with “ghosters” in seminary; nor does Phoenix Seminary cover it in any official curriculum. He called that a potential blind spot.
DelHousaye said his protocol at Scottsdale Bible was to reach out to families who ghosted. “I would call them and say … ‘Where are you guys worshiping?’” Most people were shocked to hear from him “but grateful,” he said.
For pastors of megachurches, reaching out to ghosters might sometimes mean contacting people they’ve never really gotten to know. At Concord Church, Carter said he hasn’t fully implemented a good system to address what he calls the church’s “backdoor” exits. Part of his challenge as the pastor of a 2,500-attender church is recognizing when someone leaves.
“We have two indicators for Sunday attendance: giving and childcare,” he said. The church tracks both, which should make it easier to notice a sudden absence. But the huge popularity of their online services during COVID-19 has made it more difficult to know whether someone has stopped attending altogether or is just attending virtually.
It’s harder to leave unnoticed at smaller congregations, but people still exit without explanation.
Paul Risler is the pastor of Central Avenue United Methodist Church in Athens, Ohio. It’s a rural church with about 200 members. For Risler, reaching out to someone who has ghosted means touching base with someone he almost definitely knows and whose absence can’t go unnoticed among the congregation.
“I used to be more intimidated by those conversations,” Risler said. But he can’t avoid them. Leaving Central is baked into the church’s context: It’s located in the middle of Ohio University’s main campus, and around half his congregation is college students.
During the pandemic, Risler noticed the same thing Carter in Dallas did: The online-only services gave members the option to “tour” other churches online.
Risler said the option for college students in particular to virtually attend services elsewhere—including churches shepherded by nationally known pastors—proved too tempting to avoid. Many college students never returned to Central. “We lost our junior and senior class, basically,” Risler said.
When the church identifies departing congregants, Risler said he’s committed to reaching out for “exit interviews.”
“I just want to make sure that the reason they’re leaving isn’t because we harmed them or sinned against them or that there isn’t something we can fix,” he said.
Burns said part of what makes ghosting so deeply hurtful for pastors is that it means those who left secretly—even for understandable reasons like starting a new job or moving away—chose to do it without prayer and guidance from their church family.
“If the people are strong in Jesus and they find our church not a good home to be at … that’s a concern,” he said. “Is that our preaching? Is it the way we lead things? That’s hard.”
Carter said after the pandemic he’d like to implement a protocol of making “care calls” to people who’ve left without word. Instead of trying to stem the tide of ghosters, he’s going further upstream: He wants to create a church culture that discourages ghosting in the first place. “We’ve seen [ghosting] before,” he said. “We think part of it is we weren’t calling people to a higher mission.”
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In an area as transient as Scottsdale, a rapidly growing city where families and young adults move in and away with unique frequency, DelHousaye used the phrase “come, grow, go” to describe the pattern of people inevitably leaving his church.
DelHousaye said when pastors don’t hold their congregants “loosely” enough—when they cling to church growth and demand loyalty from members—they unwittingly encourage ghosting.
“If people are going to be loyal, they tend to be more loyal if they realize they’re there by choice and not by manipulation,” DelHousaye said. “We made it so that you didn’t have to be afraid to tell people you were leaving,” he said of his “come, grow, go” philosophy. In fact, he said when he heard of a new church plant coming to town, as long as he believed it was “biblically solid,” he’d ask the planting pastor to share his vision from the pulpit and invite people to join him.
Burns in Columbus is trying to create a similar culture in his small Ohio congregation. “You should be able to trust that the church is not desperate to have you,” he said. “Otherwise, you shouldn’t be going to that church.”
The key for each pastor to create such a culture, DelHousaye said, is remembering whose church it is—not the pastor’s.
“If Jesus wrote a letter, it wouldn’t be to Scottsdale Bible Church,” he said. “It would be the letter to Arizona, to Utah, to Galatia, to Ephesus … It’s the church of Jesus Christ. It’s not my church.”
Carter in Dallas said his strategy to prevent ghosting is to encourage deep connection: “Here’s the deal. If somebody is worshiping, if they’re giving, if they’re serving, if they’re in a small group, the likelihood of their ghosting is low.”
Carter’s goal is to train 300 new small-group leaders this year. That includes leaders for online small groups, which meet virtually and are part of his strategy to prevent even digital ghosting. He wants to communicate that “going” to church online or even just sitting in the pews each Sunday isn’t enough. “We’re trying to say your commitment to Christ is not fulfilled until you’re helping other people grow in their journey with him,” he said.
Risler at Central has come to the same conclusion. He said pastoring a church body of mostly mobile college students has forced him to get creative about getting people connected and serving in the church quickly. Even official church membership is not a major focus at Central.
“We try to get people ‘onboarded’ pretty quickly,” he said. “So people are serving … and then kind of at the end is our membership commitment.” The idea is that connection breeds investment, which makes leaving without a trace harder.
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Every year, Risler shares what he calls the Post-it story with his congregation. Early in his tenure, he and his team were doing a “SWOT analysis,” an organizational tactic that explores a team’s strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats.
Risler wrote “transience” on a Post-it, intending to stick it in the Weakness column. His children’s ministry pastor misunderstood and placed it under Strength. They had a back-and-forth, but she won him over.
“We’ve been given this opportunity to give people Christ, to have them experience biblical community,” he said. “We’re given this short period of time, and we don’t know how long that’s going to be. So we really have learned to try to maximize that opportunity as much as we can.”
Risler said that’s Central’s reality. It’s also, it turns out, the story of the church.
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Maria Baer is a CT contributing writer based in Columbus, Ohio.
Saturday, November 19, 2022 at 06:01 PM in Depression, Honor + Integrity, In The News | Permalink | Comments (0)
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