Jonathan Herron

Let Me Be Clear

LET ME BE CLEAR

 

Those "all over the place" feelings you've been having?

 

They are symptoms of stress, NOT personal failures of yours.

 

Do you feel FLAKEY + INCONSISTENT? That's because your brain doesn't know what news to BRACE for next or what next month will hold.

 

TIRED EASILY? That's because your brain is burning your energy 10x faster than usual.

 

CAN'T SEEM TO FOCUS? That's because your brain has temporarily shut down some functionality in your prefrontal cortex -- the part that juggles complex tasks + planning -- due to the stress response.

 

FEELING CREATIVELY BLOCKED? That's because your brain has temporarily diverted all its creativity (aka ability to solve novel problems) to "How do I avoid dying?" while in a narrowed, slow burn, fight-or-flight state.

 

SUDDENLY DON'T GIVE A FLIP about future-based goals, projects, or dreams like you used to? That's because your brain knows being short-sighted is a SAFER way to COPE right now.

 

Your plans, creativity, energy, focus + motivation are on a YO-YO right now because your brain believes you need to be EXTREMELY ADAPTIVE.

 

You will not be on this rollercoaster forever. Be patient with your brain.

 

Sincerely,

 

a positive psychology-certified coach + fellow human named Alexis Rockley

Latest Stats on Unique Stresses of Pastoring During COVID Era

2020 has been the most complex year I've ever experienced as a lead pastor.

Last night, I was talking with my wife about our emotional health as we approach the end of the year.

"I just feel so broken," she shared with honesty and transparency.

Turns out, we all feel like we're running on empty.

You are not alone.

 

A 2013 study from the Schaeffer Institute reports that 1,700 pastors leave the ministry each month, citing depression, burnout, or being overworked as the primary reasons.

According to the study, 90% of pastors report working 55 to 70 hours a week, and 50% of them feel unable to meet the demands of the job.

 

Brian Dodd states that pastoring has one of the top three suicide rates of any profession.

He admonishes congregation members for not supporting their faithful leaders.

He claims that complaining, often inconsiderate members increase the stress and expect too much of their pastors.

 

Reasons for Pastoral Burnout
Some of the common causes for pastor burnout are:

• Being on call 24/7;
• Criticism and poor conflict resolution skills;
• Trying to please or solve everyone’s problems;
• Not delegating tasks;
• Poor social networks;
• Not equipped for all aspects of ministry;
• Limited social life outside the church.

 

 

Scott Sauls said that oftentimes, pastors feel “lonely” within their own communities.”

“Case in point, 2020,” he said. “You've got this dynamic where reality is 70% of pastors right now around America are looking for another job.”

Because of the pandemic, many pastors feel “ghosted” by their congregations, the pastor said.

“Our people feel like they're still with us because they see us and hear us from their living rooms, and yet, we just have this complete void of relationship,” he explained. “Oftentimes, people treat the church as a consumer good, [but pastors] see the church as our family ... so the dynamic of loneliness and isolation is amplified in a time like this.”

The current “negativity of environment” is often “taken out” on caregivers like pastors and therapists, Sauls contended.

“It really is the perfect emotional storm right now for pastors,” he said. “Fighting against isolation is utterly essential.”

Need A Lift?

I don't claim to have all the answers, but I do know based on these stats and my own experience in 2020, we need each other.

You can't do life and leadership alone.

Even Jesus did ministry with a team!

 

I would be honored to welcome you to our weekly online Coaching Cohort -- for a limited time at no cost, no strings attached.

Like you, I'm concerned about pastors and leaders feeling isolated and alone.

Let's change that.

REGISTER NOW to join us this Tuesday, 10am EST on Zoom.

Forgiving What You Can't Forget

A 2013 study from the Schaeffer Institute reports that 1,700 pastors leave the ministry each month, citing depression, burnout, or being overworked as the primary reasons.

According to the study, 90% of pastors report working 55 to 70 hours a week, and 50% of them feel unable to meet the demands of the job.

 

Brian Dodd states that pastoring has one of the top three suicide rates of any profession. He admonishes congregation members for not supporting their faithful leaders. He claims that complaining, often inconsiderate members increase the stress and expect too much of their pastors.

Reasons for Pastoral Burnout
Some of the common causes for pastor burnout are [3]:

Being on call 24/7;
Criticism and poor conflict resolution skills;
Trying to please or solve everyone’s problems;
Not delegating tasks;
Poor social networks;
Not equipped for all aspects of ministry;
Limited social life outside the church.

 

 

Scott Sauls said that oftentimes, pastors feel “lonely” within their own communities.”

“Case in point, 2020,” he said. “You've got this dynamic where reality is 70% of pastors right now around America are looking for another job.”

Because of the pandemic, many pastors feel “ghosted” by their congregations, the pastor said.

“Our people feel like they're still with us because they see us and hear us from their living rooms, and yet, we just have this complete void of relationship,” he explained. “Oftentimes, people treat the church as a consumer good, [but pastors] see the church as our family ... so the dynamic of loneliness and isolation is amplified in a time like this.”

The current “negativity of environment” is often “taken out” on caregivers like pastors and therapists, Sauls contended.

“It really is the perfect emotional storm right now for pastors,” he said. “Fighting against isolation is utterly essential.”

 

 

Every time someone leaves, criticizes you, betrays you or otherwise harms you, how do you forgive? Should you forgive? And, how do you set boundaries that keep you and others healthy?

Lysa TerKeurst on Forgiving What You Can't Forget:

• Hurt hurts.  People experience deep pain.
• Marriage implosion hurts more than two people; shrapnel goes out.  Unhealed trauma in other people's lives can be triggered. 
• Public Opinion weighing into Private Pain
• We live in a world that is so epicly offended by anything and everything.
• When we find ourselves getting HYSTERICAL, it's HISTORICAL.  Usually not just the pain of the present -- Amygdala triggers unhealed/unresolved hurt that this present offense is tapping into, creating an explosion.  It's the story we are telling ourselves.
• Hurt in the heart that is not dealt with leads to HATE and ratchets up our emotions -- We have an out-of-proportion reaction to issues.
• Make sure the story we are telling ourselves lines up with the truth of life.
• "Forgive and Forget" is not a biblical principle.  When we remember, use it as a testimony about God.  Don't recount all the PROOF of how people have hurt you... You are healed when you share PERSPECTIVE you gained from it that can help other people!
• Collecting the Dots - Identify Your Shame Script that you learned earlier in life and has shaped how you see life now.
• Connecting the Dots
• Correcting the Dots
• Expectations are really Premeditated Resentments
• Immature View of Forgiveness: Waiting for someone else to make a choice to make any of this right.  Waiting for someone else to say they're sorry... "I can't heal until THEY make a different choice."
• Mature: We decide that we ourselves have suffered enough because of what others have done to us.  So we're going to unhitch our lllinnability to heal from THIER choices and say, I'm going to make the decision to sever the source of suffering and I am making the decision to forgive o that I can heal and I have carried the weight of suffering for way too long.  You don't need to have that epic moment with that other person.  Forgiveness is how we keep our hearts swept clean.
• Forgiveness is something you should embrace so that the past doesn't own you.
• Forgiveness doesn't change your past but it releases your future.
• "You don't know how bad I was hurt." You're right, I don't.  But I am sorry, truly sorry.  And I believe you.  Your pain is real, deep, hard, and you shouldn't have been hurt.  I will bear witness to your pain. But you deserve to stop suffering because of what another person has done to you.  Write down all the different ways you have been hurt -- get it out.  Then go card by card and say, "I forgive you for this pain."  Hurt feelings don't often want to cooperate with holy instruction.
• Forgiveness is not based on my DETERMINATION, it is based on my COOPERATION with what God has forgiven in me.  I cooperate with the flow of forgiveness given to me.
• Forgiveness is more satisfying than revenge.  Do you have the Curse of Comebacks?  You can't right the scales of justice.  You gotta trade all that drama for an upgrade in your life.  Revenge is you signing up to get hit and hurt twice by that other person's offense.  You've already been hurt, don't get hurt twice by that drama.  Trade for an Upgrade!
• Enemies smiling?  Sin is a package deal: unleashes consequences for that sin!  Pray for your enemies -- they don't realize the consequences bring unleashed in ther lives.  God says vengeance is His -- only God can pour out equal levels of justice and mercy.  I don't have to see God's justice to trust He is taking it on.  
• You don't have to attend every drama you are invited to.
• Boundaries are not meant to shove the other person away.
  
  

 

 

What does the Bible say about helping others?

In Galatians 6: 2 & 5 we read: Carry each other’s burdens and in this way you fulfill the law of Christ … AND each one should carry their own load.

20 Things I've Learned in 20 Years of Ministry

Green-eared and fresh out of college, I stepped into the frenetic world of full-time ministry on November 15, 2000 while also pursuing my Master's Degree.

Sunday, November 15, 2020 marks exactly 20 years as a pastor.

I wish I could say that I have it all figured out.

I don't.

In fact, the longer I'm in ministry, the more I realize how much I don't know.

But there's nothing else like it: serving people, sharing Christ's love, and turning the world upside-down.

 

For what it's worth, here's a simple list of 20 Tips from Serving 20 Years as a Pastor:

 

1. Always Choose Grace > Guilt
   When your default is to believe the best about someone instead of jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst, God is honored and people are respected.
   
   
2. Complexity is the norm.
   Leadership decisions are not always black and white.  When you are working with people, there is so much more complexity in leading and solving problems.  Some days, the only thing a leader can pray is this: "We don't know what to do, but our eyes are on You” (2 Chronicles 20:21).
   
   
   
   
3. You'll never feel 100% certain before making a decision.  Never.
   Leadership is not about making the big decisions; it's about owning the decisions after they've been made!
   
   
4. Remember, it's always about People > Programs.
   If you're holed up in your office surfing the web, you are doing ministry wrong.
   
   
   
   
   
5. Get a Mentor.
   Paul had a Timothy and Timothy had a Titus.  Learn from leaders who have gone before you.  Don't wait for them to give you advice; have a list of written questions ahead of time to ask them!  Always maintain a posture of humility. 
   I am so thankful for my mentors over these past 20 years: Jeff Miller, Perry Noble, and Bob Goff.
   
   
   
6. Focus on Quality, not Quantity.
   It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be amazing!  Ruthlessly evaluate your weekend experiences and make it better.
   
   
   
7. However long you lead,
   keep dripping with Gratitude and Grace.
   
   
   
8. Get Used To Unfair Criticism.
   When you sign up to be a leader of an organization, it means sometimes you will give up the right to be treated right.
   
   (see: Moses in Numbers, King David in 1 Samuel, Jesus in the Gospels, Paul in Acts 16, etc).
   
   
   
   
9. Size Doesn't Matter.
   Do not despise the days of small beginnings (I remember when our church start-up could fit inside my living room!).  Appreciate the privilege of leading and the journey of growth.  Whether you're serving three people or three thousand people, always bring your A-Game and leave them wanting more!
   
   
   

   “I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.” (Andy Bernard on The Office)

   
   
   
10. Choose to Cheat
    

    11. You're Going to Make Mistakes.
             Take it from me.  You will blow it. 
             When you do, own it.  The most powerful two words a leader can offer
             to begin rebuilding trust are, "I'm Sorry."

        12.  Gossip is a Weak Man's Strength.
                  Tell your team and model these words always:
                  "I will never say anything about you that I would not first say to you." 
                 
                  Always choose to have a conversation over condemnation!
                 "Whoever overlooks an offense promotes love,
                    but whoever gossips about it separates friends."  (Proverbs 17:9)

          

        

        13. Always Take the High Road.
                You will honor God plus there's less traffic!

        14. Never listen to criticism
               from someone you would not turn to for wisdom.

        15.  Leaders are Readers.
                     The moment you stop reading is the moment you stop leading.

 

         16.  Integrity Matters.
                    King David wrote:"I will keep a protective eye on the godly,
                    so they may dwell with me in safety.

                    Only those who are ABOVE REPROACH will be allowed to serve me." (Psalm 101:6-7)

            

            17.  The Friends You Have History With
                   Aren't Necessarily Who You Will Make History With.

 

        18.  Create Margin in Your Daily Schedule for Interruptions.

                        Read Matthew chapters 6 - 8 and count how many times
                        Jesus gets interrupted by people.  He always made time for everyone. 
                        

                      Every person matters.  Your ministry will flow from the interruptions. 

 

            19.  Greatness Is Never On Sale.
                        Complacency is not an option. 

                        If your church does not evangelize, it will eventually fossilize! 
                        NEVER APOLOGIZE for attempting to fulfill the Great Commission. 

                        Stop making EXCUSES and start making a DIFFERENCE.

                        Hustle and make it happen!

 

        20.  The Best Is ALWAYS Yet To Come!
                        Your best days are not behind you... they are AHEAD of you. 

                        Don't build a museum to the past.  Instead forge a movement for the future. 

                        In the end, you get Jesus.  That means that no matter what trials you face,

                        the best is always yet to come!