The Secret Sauce of Success

3 Keys to a Long-Lasting Relationship

Amber and I were married 21 years ago today on the banks of the Mississippi River in Iowa.

We started married life as poor college students in a lousy basement apartment deep in the heart of Chicago’s Logan Square.

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Five adoptions and four church start-ups later, we now have the privilege of seeing lives transformed by the Gospel at our 6-yr-old start-from-scratch church start-up that will be recognized in a few weeks as one of the Top 15 Fastest-Growing Churches in America.  

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Our marriage and our ministry are held together by one God-man, Jesus.  

Following Jesus makes our married life better and makes us better at married life.  

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The secret sauce to our relationship has been these 3 keys:

  1. GRACE FIRST: Grace is when you love someone when the LEAST EXPECT it and LEAST DESERVE it.


  2. SERVING OTHERS SECOND: Take the Spotlight off Yourself and Place it on Someone Else.
    "For even the Son of Man did not come expecting to be served by everyone, but to serve everyone..." - Jesus in Mark 10:45

  3. And finally to Live with OPEN-HANDED GENEROSITY: God owns all our stuff and we are called to wisely manage His stuff. 

    Amber and I are excited to bring 10 cents of every single dollar that enters our home to our local church (our tithes), to give an offering above and beyond our tithe to both Compassion International and The Timothy Initiative, and to seek local opportunities to bless others.

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21 Years of Marriage to Amber has been a privilege and an honor. 

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