How to Navigate a Break-Up or Betrayal

I had a BLAST today at Life Church as we kicked off a new series based on Acts chapter 16, You Don't Have What It Takes.  I believe this will be a powerful message series as we get raw and real about some of the heavy curveballs life throws our way.

Unfortunately we did not get an audio recording of today's message, so here is a quick summary:

 

- Paul and Barnabus part ways in Acts 15:35-38.  If break-up and betrayal could happen to the Gospel All-Stars, it can and will happen to you and me!

 

- Followers of Jesus are not promised rainbows, skittles, and unicorns.  You WILL have troubles and heartaches!

 

- You can't please everyone but you can keep reconciliation as your goal.

 

Step One in a Betrayal or Break-Up: Your REACTION determines your REACH.

 

- Jesus gives very practical instructions in Matthew 18:15-17 on how to deal with people who have hurt you: go to the person quickly, privately, and humbly!

 

- Verse 17 does NOT advocate shunning.  Who Would Jesus Shun?

 

- "But they deserve to be shunned."  Really?  Even if everything you say about this person is true, are you treating them the way Jesus would treat them? If someone is acting like a pagan or tax collector, how would Jesus approach them...?

 

- Jesus always walked TOWARD people, not AWAY!

 

- If someone is taking shots at your children, I'm sorry, but that is demonic.  You are never more like Satan than when you accuse and you are never more like Jesus than when you advocate and forgive!

 

- Ephesians 4:26-27 tells us to deal with our issues TODAY.  Don't allow "little" beefs to get bottled up over time or you will explode like a volcano.

 

Step Two in a Betrayal or Break-Up: Nobody wins when you trash talk.

 

- Have a beef?  Don't blab it on Facebook... go to the person and get it resolved!

 

- If you are a man or woman of God, you do NOT have permission to accuse or slander.

 

- If you are a son or daughter of the Most High, honor and integrity are your shield.  Even if you are accused and innocent, it is not necessary to defend yourself in the public square (I am speaking from EXPERIENCE here!!).

 

- Ephesians 6:12 tells us that if they have flesh and blood, they are NOT our enemy!  The Enemy is the enemy!!

 

Step Three in a Betrayal or Break-Up:

Moving on doesn't mean you've stopped caring; it means you can't change it.

 - Always keep the door open for reconciliation but never for condemnation.

  

The personal story I shared was about how Amber and I lost our closest friends five years ago and how we've chosen to walk through that brutal break-up and betrayal by choosing forgiveness and open doors.  We don't yet have a storybook ending to that story, but we continue to hope and pray.

Next week my good buddy Adam Downer will be sharing more from the life of Paul in Acts chapter 16.  I'm really excited for our church family to hear Adam's story for the first time.  He is an AWESOME worship leader, but more importantly a wise and experienced pastor who oozes with compassion.

In two weeks I'll return with the third message in this series.  I would appreciate your prayers as I'll be opening up and sharing for the first time the story our family walked through two years ago.  My prayer is that it will offer hope, healing, and encouragement to so many healing from past church wounds.