Herron Hacienda | Faith, Family, & Frugal Finds in Michigan

~ Generosity & Compassion ~

We strive to teach our children a number of character traits and values.  There is nothing more rewarding then the moments we see that they get it, and in so doing, teach us as well!  Two of these values are generosity and compassion.  We want our children to see those hurting and in need and be moved with compassion like Jesus modeled to us in His time on earth.  We try hard to model and teach our children what it means to manage your money and belongings well so that you are freed up to be generous. 

I was deeply touched to see both of these values lived out in the last week with my 23 month old daughter (yes - even toddlers can grasp these concepts!).

Both of our children had received special helium baloons from their Grandma for Valentine's Day.  At one point, Josiah came running out of his room in hysterics.  He held a crumpled balloon in one hand.  He tearfully explained that his balloon had gotten stuck in his ceiling fan and broke.  Throughout his explanation, Ainsleigh stood next to him watching and listening.  After Josiah finished telling his story, his little sister looked up at him and immediately handed her prized balloon to him.  She then joyfully ran around the room cheering with excitement to be able to show compassion and generosity to her brother.  It was very sweet and moving for me as a parent to witness.  Ainsleigh did not hestiate.  She did not stop herself out of selfishness.  She did not regret her decision to be generous.  She celebrated!

My 23 month old daughter ended up teaching me about compassion and generosity this week! 

~ Upside Down Prayers for Parents - Book Review ~

I was so excited to have an opportunity to review Upside Down Prayers for Parents: Thirty-One Daring Devotions for Entrusting Your Child--and Yourself -- to God by Lisa Tawn Bergren.  I had seen snippets of info about it on several websites I follow and was very interested in reading more!

 

Upside Down Prayers for Parents is a unique devotional book unlike any other I've seen.  Each chapter focuses in on one specific prayer for your children.  Bergren shares a short devotional from her personal life and parenting experiences, provides a theme scripture, and a written prayer.  One of the hidden gems in this devotional is the discussion questions Bergren includes with each chapter.  She provides a question to discuss with a younger child as well as an older child.  This makes this devotional easy to apply whether you have young kids, older kids, or both! 

My favorite part of this devotional book is that Bergren forces you to go outside of the traditional prayer mindset we can develop for our children.  If you are looking for a book that focuses on superficial hopes and prayers for your kids such as - "keep them happy" and "never let them experience hurt" - then this is not the book for you.  The emphasis on "daring" prayers in the book's subtitle is appropriate.  I think another possible title could've been 31 Dangerous Prayers for Parents.  Lisa Bergren takes a typical prayer we as parents often find ourselves praying and turns it upside down.  I have to admit - I had to think twice and check my heart before actually praying some of these over my kids!  Some examples of the prayers in this devotional are:

I pray you'll encounter battles - and find God is your greatest ally

I pray you'll know what it is to be lonely - and find intimacy with the One who is always beside you

I pray you'll be shattered - and allow God to build you up again

I pray you'll be farsighted - able to see where our God is leading us

See what I mean?  Just rereading all these amazing prayers makes me want to reread the devotional all over again! 

I highly recommend picking up a copy of Upside Down Prayers for Parents by Lisa Bergren.  It will grow and challenge you personally as well as edify you as a parent.  If you are searching for some deep meaningful ways to take your children before the Father, this is the perfect tool to help you!

 

**I received this book free as a part of the Blogging for Books program by Waterbrook Multnomah Publishers.  The opinions stated above are 100% my own!

~ The 3 Hour Journey ~

I have been writing this post in my head for over a month now.  I was at work the day we found out that the judge had signed our placement papers and Ainsleigh could come home from host care.  The timing worked out that Jon had previous engagements that he could not get out of.  So, Josiah and I traveled across the great state of Michigan immediately after school to pick up our new addition!

It was kind of surreal for me to be driving with my sweet (and excited!) 5 year old son knowing this would be the end of our time of him being the only child.  I found myself reflecting on the last five years and the day we brought him home.  He has grown and changed so much!  We faced joys beyond what we could even imagine and some challenges that the Lord gave us strength to endure. 

Early on in our journey, Josiah and I had a conversation that reminded me of the goal of our parenting:  we want to raise sons and daughters that are captured by the grace and love of Jesus and use that passion to change the world!  This conversation helped me feel like despite our moments of weakness, Jesus is working to achieve this goal.

We were passing a cemetery while driving when the conversation began.

Josiah:  That's where people are buried when they die.  There are a lot of people that died over there.  Did they die because of sin?

Me:  Yes, Josiah, that's right.  When sin entered the world with Adam and Eve, God made it so people would die.  He did not want us to live forever in sin and not have a relationship with us - He loves us too much to allow that.

Josiah:  Well, I have done lots of bad things, so does that mean I have to die too and be separated from God?

Me:  The Bible says that everyone makes bad choices and sins.  The good news is that we can still have a relationship with God?  Do you know how?

Josiah:  Jesus died on the cross.

Me:  That's right.  So if you belive that Jesus died for your sins and ask Him to be the boss or leader of your life, then you can have a relationship with God now and be with Him forever in heaven when you leave this earth. 

Josiah:  But sometimes, I still make bad choices.

Me:  Well, everyone has a hard time making bad choices at times.  The Bible also says that when we ask Jesus to lead us, we get the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is God too.  He is there to help us make the right choices and not turn to sin. 

Josiah:  Oh, ok.  I already have Him. 

Then the conversation moved on to some topic important to 5 year old boys.  I was smiling to myself and teary-eyed though.  My son "gets it" at the young age of five.  This is one area, by the grace of God, we seem to be succeeding as parents!  I cannot imagine a better way of ending my time with Josiah as my only child!  My heart was just overflowing!

My introspection continued as we journeyed back home with our new little bundle.  The whole time, I found myself silently thanking God for these two blessings.  I believe that every child is uniquely planned and placed in their family whether through birth or adoption.  There's just a part of me though, that knows without ANY doubt, God made these two children especially for our family!  It is overwhelming.  The birth families didn't just happen to pick us.  It is not a coinicidence.  The children (and birth families) we prayed years for arrived in our family at the exact right time and under the exact right circumstances.

We belong together.

My journey was 3 hours each way with my children that day, however, it has been set in motion for eternity. 

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."  -  James 1:17

~ Valentine Traditions ~

Tiny Prints sent me an email asking the question, "how do you make valentine's day special for your kids?"  I realized that I have never shared our valentine tradition with Josiah. 

Jonathan and I have never been huge on celebrating Valentine's since it is mostly a "Hallmark holiday."  My mindset changed with regards to our child when I thought about my own childhood. 

One of my best childhood memories with my grandparents was from Valentine's Day.  My grandma cooked a nice dinner for us.  Grandpa bought us the big box of Whitman's Sampler - a big deal to a 7 year old!  He also bought us a stuffed goose with a straw hat.  It was a simple moment.  It didn't involve spending lots of money, a fancy restaurant, or expensive flowers.  That is all part of what makes it my favorite Valentine's memory.  Grandma and Grandpa spent quality time with us and showed us their love for us.

We decided to show our love for Josiah on Valentine's Day through the gift of books.  Surprise, surprise, right?  (it's no secret we are HUGE book lovers here!)  Each year, I scour tons of children's books to find the perfect one.  It is always a book that talks about how much we love Josiah.  I also try to find a book that emphasizes similarities to Josiah's personality or developmental stage.  Once the perfect book is selected, I write a letter to Josiah inside the front cover explaining why we chose it and how much we love him!  I figured he would appreciate that part when he is much older.  To my surprise, when I get those books out to read, he wants me to read the inscription to him repeatedly before the story.  He will have these books to hold on to and always know he is loved!

Some of the titles we have chosen include:  The Yummiest Love, How Do Dinosaurs Say I Love You, Wherever You Go My Love Will Find You, and I Love You Little Monkey.

What about you?  Any fun or special Valentine's Day traditions?

*Thanks to Tiny Prints for inspiring me to share these thoughts!  You can find tons of unique and creative Valentines for something extra special this year by visiting their site.  You can also follow them on twitter(https://twitter.com/#!/TinyPrints), facebook(https://www.facebook.com/tinyprints), or pinterest(http://pinterest.com/tiny_prints/)!

~ Lessons in Stewardship from a 4 year old ~

Jon and I have been wanting to set up some sort of commission for Josiah since we went through Financial Peace University.  Life got a little chaotic for a while and it got put on the back burner.  We just started our system a couple weeks ago.  It's been a great experience and has got me thinking...how much are we adults like a 4 year old?

The system is simple (and derived from www.simplemom.net).  Josiah gets a sticker for each day that he completes each "chore."  He receives a nickle for each sticker at the end of the week. 

Our goal is to teach him that 1) you work hard to earn money and 2) you need to manage your money well.  We count out his earnings and then tell him to divide it up between giving to the church, saving some in the bank and keeping some in an envelope in Mom's purse to spend. 

The first week, his eyes were sparkling off the reflection of the coins before him.  He was eager to grab them all for himself.  We stopped and reminded him that his money is going to three places.  I took some money aside to give to church and he immediately protested!  I explained that one way we show God we love Him is by giving back to His church.  And isn't God so generous to let us keep most of it?  He wasn't so sure, but acquiesced.  I took another portion aside for his bank account (which we plan to match for him) and then he had a whole dollar left for spending (a lot for a 4 year old!). 

I thought a lot about his response and realized how many adults are just like that.  We get our hard-earned dollars and don't want to let go!  Many times there is no concern for giving to God's work.  Many times there is also no concern to be wise and save.  Many times there is no concern for even managing well what we have to spend (budgeting, etc.).  Our country is full of a bunch of developmental toddlers when it comes to money!

There can be good news though!  Here's what happened the second week Josiah got paid...

I presented him with all the money he earned for the week.  He was equally eager to snatch it up!  I stopped and asked him, "where's one place your money goes?"  He answered, "church!"  I set aside a portion of his earnings for giving...without protest from the wage earner.  I asked him, "where's another place your money goes?"  He replied, "the bank!"  I put that money aside...again without protest.  I asked him, "where's the last place your money goes?"  He excitedly answered, "to spend!"  I put the largest portion of his money in his envelope in my purse. 

I was very surprised and proud that Josiah had so quickly learned some basics of stewardship.  I started thinking about why and how?  I think it was because 1) he had accountability (from us) and 2) he started to develop a habit. 

This can be the same for us adults.  We can easily learn to be good managers of our money and stewards of God's resources.  We need to develop some sort of accountability (with a spouse or close friend).  We also need to just start doing it - giving and saving.  It becomes easier the more you do it!  Each time you put that check in the offering plate, your joy increases.  Your bank account may be getting emptier, but your heart is getting fuller!  Every time you choose to transfer that money over to the savings account rather than having an extra meal out to eat, the easier it is to set money aside in the future.  You find yourself wanting to sacrifice more and more to see that savings account grow and grow (or extra money to your debt making it shrink and shrink!). 

Who knows?  Your accountability may come when you are paying your toddler their earnings!

For more info on how to begin managing your money well, go to www.josephsangl.com

~ Book Review: Great Parents Lousy Lovers ~

Great Parents Lousy Lovers by Dr. Gary Smalley & Ted Cunningham

I was very curious to receive this book once I saw the title.  It didn't sound like something I would be super crazy about, but I figured I don't have much to lose.  I requested it for review (thank you Tyndale) and boy am I glad I did!  I usually enjoy books I review, but most are not ones that I would invest our budgeted dollars on.  This book, however, is an exception.  I would absolutely buy this book.  I am even considering buying extra copies to give away.

There are many things I love and appreciate about Great Parents Lousy Lovers.  One unique aspect is that it is coauthored by men in two different life stages.  Dr. Smalley is a "seasoned' citizen and a saint of the church.  He has raised children and now has grandchildren.  Ted Cunningham is a 30 something pastor with a 4 & 6 year old at home.  It is rare that you see these two age groups collaborate on a project to bring about a full picture and perspective.  I love that about this book. 

The basic premise of Great Parents Lousy Lovers is that the Bible teaches that children are to "leave and cleave" and therefore, parenting (and marriage) should be set up and lived out to reflect that principle.  Parents should be preparing their children to become mature.  This means giving them an understanding that one day they will leave Mom & Dad and be on their own. 

The book begins by educating the reader through the generations of parenting styles up unto the present.  The present style is what is called "child-centered."  This is the first generation of parents to feel guilty for not playing with and entertaining their kids all day.  Our grandmas never felt that way - you got carried around from room to room in your playpen while the housework was done.  Once the reader understands how we got here, the authors focus in on practical and Biblical points to enhance a marriage built upon husband and wife, not just your children. 

This book provides the reader with so many resources.  The chapters are entertaining, informative and quick reads.    Each chapter concludes with several questions to think through and discuss with your spouse.  It also has a date assignment for the week.  I think that is an invaluable tool - particularly for marriages that are revolving solely around children.  It gives a couple launching ground for conversation that is not just about what the kids did that day.  In addition to all of this, there is a website which has weekly vlogs to watch.  They are informative and entertaining - like the book! 

My husband and I are planning on taking time to go through this together.  I think it is particularly helpful to couples with young children at home.  I have already told several couples about it!  I highly recommend picking up a copy and watch your marriage grow as a result!

*I received this book free from Tyndale publishers in exchange for a blog review.  The views expressed are my own.

~ Adoption Perspective ~

My friend, Heidi, is wishing her second born daughter a Happy 1st Birthday on her blog.  She captures some dynamics of adoption perfectly!  I can't say it better myself, so I am linking up.  Check it out - love the way she honors her daughter's birth mom and also her description of dynamics for an adoptive parent during the first few days of your (prospective) child's life.  Thanks, Heidi, for sharing!

~ Leap Frog = A++ ~

I have a motto I follow in life - "It never hurts to ask."  This motto has saved me a lot of money (remember my sweet Old Navy deal after Christmas?). 

I also do not hesitate to contact a manufacturer when I am dissatisfied with a product.  This usually results in a coupon to replace the item for free.  For example, I opened a pack of Kraft singles last month to find every slice w/ mold on it.  They were awesome and sent me a coupon right away to replace it.

I have now applied this concept to dealing with Josiah's toys.  We had used some of his birthday money to buy the Leap Frog Tag Junior for him in September.  It was great timing for our car trips back and forth to Michigan.  He loves reading and it is nice for him to read on his own occasionally.  A little over a month ago, I had purchased a new book for him.  A day later, his Tag Junior unit just stopped working.  What's a mom to do?

Contact the manufacturer, that's what!  I emailed Leap Frog and explained my dilemma and sought out advice on how to fix Josiah's unit.  They replied with a couple of ideas.  I tried these, but to no avail.  Leap Frog generously offered to replace Josiah's Tag Junior with a brand new one - even though it is past their warranty period!  They made an exception.  I had some steps to follow to receive it - one of which was to scan my receipt.  Of course, I no longer had this.  I did happen to get it at Toys R Us and used my rewards card.  I found the purchase on my account and provided that as proof of purchase.  Leap Frog immediately sent out the new unit! We got it today. 

Thanks, Leap Frog, for your A++ customer service!  This mom won't forget it!

And remember, it never hurts to ask!

~ You're Invited! ~

5 Minutes for Mom is having a huge party - click the button to come join in the fun!  There will be great prizes and tons of links to make new blogging mom friends!

~ Valentine's Day Revisited ~

We are not huge Valentine's Day people.  Jonathan used to get me a teddy bear each year (from the first year we were dating), but my collection was getting somewhat ebarrassingly large.  LOL.  Right now we are committed to being pretty choosy with our money and are living like no one else so we can live like no one else.  Because of this, we chose not to get each other gifts or to go out to eat.  I made a nice dinner (chicken parmesan) for us last night instead.  We do like to do little things here and there (i.e. Jon let me rent a chick flick this weekend AND watched it with me!).

I think Valentine's can be a great opportunity to once again emphasize the love you have for your children.  I know I easily get bogged down in the daily life of parenting.  I can unknowingly slip into more of a negative mode with my child rather than emphasizing all of his wonderful qualities with him.  I inadvertently began a valentine tradition w/ Josiah last year.  Being book lovers, we are always looking for a valid excuse to buy a book.  I choose a book each year for Josiah about loving him and so far, it has emphasized some of the behaviors he is currently going through. 

I was excited to write him a special message in his book this year.  I strategically set it up on the table w/ a box of conversation hearts right where he would see it in the morning.  He walked in the dining room and exclaimed, "Oh awesome!"  He even asked permission before eating any of his candy hearts!  We read his new book 3 times in a row over breakfast and by bedtime, he had parts of it memorized already (it doesn't hurt that it has dinosaurs in it!).  The best part of my day, however, was after goodnight kisses as I was getting up to leave the room, Josiah said, "Happy Valentine's Mommy."  *sigh*  Sometimes they just totally melt your heart!