Previously in this series:
It is good for me that I was afflicted,
that I might learn your statutes.
(Psalm 119:71 ESV)
This post has been a long time coming. It has literally taken me months to process and get this down. This particular part of my “Wounds from the Church” series has been the most difficult to write. It's a bit raw and gut-level honest, so please bear with me.
I think the biggest challenge in writing this is that our story is not yet complete. We do not yet have a happy ending tied neatly with a bow. Growing in faith when the pain runs so deep is a great challenge some days.
I believe that there are times when God allows (and dare I say even ordains) us to experience painful seasons and situations. This may be the only way to serve His ultimate purposes in us, teach us, and mold us. I have never really enjoyed these seasons in my life, but I can say unequivocally that these are the seasons that God has been most precious to me and times that I have grown the most in my spiritual journey.
This is also true of my church hurt from over these past twelve months. I was really encouraged by this quote from Stephen Mansfield in the midst of lost and broken relationships. It helped me see the bigger picture and to not always take the rejection so personally:
“The hardship of your painful church experience is redemptive in the hand of God and it may even be ordained… If this hardship was ordained of God and if it is a tool he is using to carve Christ’s image in your life, then you can’t stay angry at the people who might have wronged you…
Now you can see them as playing their role – yes, perhaps hurtfully to you – but playing out a role nevertheless that wasn’t as personally intended as their actions may have seemed. Your focus can now rise from them to the purposes of God. (Joseph – Gen 50:20). You can get on with the ultimate reason for what you have endured (God’s calling).”
Over the last year, Jon and I have developed a saying based out of our experience – "This is a Genesis 50:20 moment." This comes from the account of Joseph, who felt the anointing of God at a young age. God spoke to him in dreams that he would serve God’s purposes and in so doing, rule over his brothers. Joseph must’ve been so excited that God had given him this amazing vision!
Joseph shares this with his older brothers who, instead of joining the excitement, are jealous and fearful. His brothers sell him into slavery (only after debating over whether to KILL him!). Joseph spends a great deal of time in prison in Egypt. He could’ve sat there and ruminated on the sins of his brothers. He had to have questioned repeatedly if he had indeed heard the voice of God! Joseph does eventually see those early visions realized. God delivers him. His brothers return asking for Joseph’s help. How does he respond after all he has endured?
20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.
We looked at our circumstances. God had clearly called us to reach this region of Michigan. We had closed on a new house only a couple months beforehand. Our son was registered to start his first school experience in a matter of days. We had worked and saved to invest thousands of dollars in the adoption process.
A pastor friend of ours put it this way: “God has painted you into a corner.” There was no doubt that, despite our confusion, God was calling us to stay put. This confirmation has only continued as 15 individual assessors have recognized God calling us to stay and reach the Great Lakes Bay Region of Michigan through birthing Life Church Michigan.
A small pocket filled with fear meant evil against us, but God meant it for good, to bring about that many people should be kept alive!
The last year has been excruciatingly painful. We have endured lies, deceit, gossip and more... We watch people we were committed to doing life with move on without us. I have to believe, however, that God is using this to mold and prepare us.
We are being equipped to more effectively minister to and love the people we serve:
- We can now reach that couple going through a divorce because we have personal experience with what those dynamics feel like having been divorced from our previous church.
- We can sit and weep with the one who is facing loss or death because we have felt that depth of sorrow with an abrupt loss all of our close day-to-day relationships with no goodbye.
- We can pray in faith for that family who is facing unemployment after working so hard to build up a career. And on and on it goes…
I believe down to my core that God will bring the vision of Life Church Michigan to pass. He could not have accomplished what He is working in us now or in our future church in any better way.
Life Church Michigan would never have been birthed if it weren’t for our painful experience. God has plans for our family to impact this region forever!
This is how I can come to a point of thanking God for removing us from our previous church – hurt and all. This is a Genesis 50:20 moment for the Herron Family!
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