~New Blog Series: Wounds from the Church ~

You don’t have to attend church for very long before you realize you are surrounded by sinners (including you!).  The potential for being hurt and wounded surrounds you.   This fact is only compounded when you are in ministry!  Your life becomes a fishbowl with everyone watching and making some sort of judgment.  You literally can’t win: 

• Don’t be too standoffish yet don’t be overly friendly and come off as lacking genuine care. 
• Your kids can’t ever misbehave or you are horrible parents while at the same time if your children are too well behaved then people assume you are too perfect or out of touch to relate with. 
• You attend a ministry such as MOPS and you automatically are associated with any beliefs, agendas, or gossip that takes place but if you don’t attend MOPS then you must obviously be against it. 

People often approach you as a role you play or a position and forget you are a person with feelings too.  I can’t tell you how many people have come up to me complaining about my husband.  Um, hello!  He’s my husband and it hurts my feelings for you to gossip about him to me.

You’ve heard the saying, “The only things in life that are certain are death and taxes.”  I would add to that, “Being hurt and sinned against.”  I had one dear friend who confided in me that she was terrified that we would hurt one another and ruin our relationship.  My response to her was, of course we are going to hurt one another… we are both sinners.  It doesn’t have to ruin our relationship, though.  Our continued relationship is based on how we choose to respond in the hurt. 

This is the same with the church.  I have seen many people walk away from the church altogether (and some from ministry) because of a deep wound that was inflicted from someone in the church.  If I am totally honest with myself, I have to sometimes question, “How in the world have I not given up on the church with the pains I have endured… many being the most painful wounds of my life?”   That is where this blog series is coming from.  It is the result of me answering that question to myself over and over the last few months after having endured a deep wound from the church. 

I could easily fill up a blog series of all the nasty and hurtful church experiences we have been through.  The very last thing I want, however, is for someone to stumble upon my blog and feel they have more ammunition to walk away from the body of Christ.  Instead, I am writing this series in hopes that a person about to walk away from church stumbles upon it and is encouraged to take a second look.  I hope you will find it thought provoking, challenging, edifying, and encouraging. 

Recommended reading -  

ReChurch: Healing Your Way Back to the People of God by Stephen Mansfield

How People Change by Timothy S. Lane & Paul David Tripp

 

Comments

[Sarah]

Thanks for writing this series Amber. Looking forward to it.