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~ Wounds from the Church: The Enemy ~

I work as a counselor.  Sometimes in my line of work, I have a client who struggles with self-injury.  The issue of self-injury is an indicator to me that something deeper is going on with the client.  Something is not right.  It is not normative for a person to want to inflict harm on themselves.  The objective person outside the situation thinks, “Why would you want to hurt yourself?  What do you stand to gain?”

I’ve been thinking a lot about how this issue of self-injury parallels with the church.  All too often, people within the church see one another as the enemy.  Another Christian hurts them and they retaliate.  Hurting people hurt people.  Conflicts are not typically resolved in an honest, mature, and biblical manner, but rather through gossip, malicious intent, and segregation.  People within the church become more consumed with being right or “winning” rather than genuine reconciliation.

Here’s the thing: the church is the body of Christ.  So, if I am intentionally inflicting harm on another believer, aren’t I just really inflicting self-harm?  Aren’t I just like that client who struggles with self-injury?  Why would I want to hurt myself? 

Lucretia Noble once made a brilliant statement regarding fighting in marriage, “Nobody wins a fight when fighting with your spouse.  You both lose.”  I think this same idea applies to the church.  Nobody wins when we fight amongst ourselves. 

Here’s another way to approach the whole idea: the church is repeatedly referred to in Scripture as the bride of Christ.  We can’t claim to truly and deeply love Jesus, while at the same time reject His bride.  It’s the same principle that keeps you from being best friends with someone who dislikes your spouse.  You love your spouse.  You are not going to want to be around others who only see the negative in them.   

The church and other Christians are not your enemy!

So, who is?  Let’s go back to Ephesians 6 again:

“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” 

Flesh and blood is not our enemy.  Our enemy is Satan.  He wants us to believe that we are each other’s enemies.  We are just playing into his hands and harming ourselves and the mission of God when we act on this belief. 

Scripture is clear that the enemy wants to devour us (2 Tim 2:24-26, Eph 4:26-27).  We must stand united and firm against this enemy.  We must be devoted to praying for ourselves and others to not allow the enemy to get a foothold and use us for his evil intents.  We are on the same team!

I don’t know about you, but as a believer in Jesus, I am so thankful for His grace and mercy!  I love Romans 8 which reminds me that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  The moments I screw up I don’t have to get down on myself.  I am not condemned.  Those sins are on Jesus.  I simply turn to Him, ask forgiveness, and for the Holy Spirit to further grow and sanctify me. 

This whole idea actually comes from the Old Testament.  In Leviticus 16:20-22 we see this:

“And when he has made an end of atoning for the Holy Place and the tent of meeting and the altar, he shall present the live goat.  And Aaron shall lay both his hands on the head of the live goat, and confess over it all the iniquities of the people of Israel, and all their transgressions, all their sins. And he shall put them on the head of the goat and send it away into the wilderness by the hand of a man who is in readiness. The goat shall bear all their iniquities on itself to a remote area, and he shall let the goat go free in the wilderness.” 

This is where we get the term scapegoat.  God tells Moses and Aaron to confess the sins over the goat and send it off away from the people.  New Testament believers realize that Jesus has become the final scapegoat.  Our sins are placed on His shoulders at the cross and therefore sent away from us.  We are no longer condemned – thank You, Jesus!

Ready to have your mind blown?  If it is true that I am no longer condemned because my sins are on Christ Jesus, then isn’t it also true that my brothers and sisters in Christ are also no longer condemned?  The Christian who has deeply wounded me has his or her sins on Jesus’ shoulders the same as I do.  The same grace and mercy I am so thankful to experience is extended to the Christian who sins against me. 

It is not my job to condemn. 

God does not condemn… that is part of what Jesus has done for us. 

You know who does condemn?  Satan!  He’s the only one who continually brings up your past failures and mistakes.  That does not come from God.  A Christian who is moping about his or her past is not walking in the freedom of the cross. 

How do we unite to fight against this enemy when we’ve been hurt by our fellow Christian?  We pray for the Holy Spirit to convict us of ways that we each may be allowing Satan to gain a foothold in our lives.  We pray for God to protect us from the arrows Satan is throwing at us.  We remember the importance of the armor of God (Eph 6). 

What this has looked like for me lately is to pray specifically that God would bring sins committed against myself and my family to the mind of those who sinned against us and that He would develop a strong desire for repentance within that individual.  I further pray that this will plant the seed for reconciliation to occur in some of these relationships.  I do not pray this so my fellow Christian feels the weight of condemnation, but rather the freedom and rewards of sanctification. 

I also pray that God would convict me if I am letting Satan gain ground in my own heart and seek forgiveness.  I may specifically mention the sins committed against me and then thank God that those sins are on Jesus allowing my fellow Christian to be free just as I am free!  The biggest winner when reconciliation occurs between Christians is Jesus!  Jesus is going to win in the end anyway, but I want to be a part of gaining ground while the war is raging on. 

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”  (John 8:36)

~ Wounds from the Church: Forgiveness ~

One of the number one issues for someone who has scars from a hurtful church experience is that of forgiveness.  How do you forgive when it hurts so stinking bad?  How do you avoid developing a root of bitterness in your heart?  This is one of the hardest aspects of moving forward after a wound from the church.  I believe the centrality of moving forward in forgiveness is the Gospel. 

I must always keep before me what God has done for me.  Jesus endured the wrath of God on the cross in order to rescue me from my sin.  Jesus was separated from God in order that I may be reunited with Him.  Paul David Tripp puts it this way in How People Change, “The trinity was torn asunder so that we can experience reconciliation and forgiveness.”  My motivation to forgive others comes from the forgiveness I have received. 

I am reminded of the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35.  Scripture makes it very clear that blessings do not flow from a heart of unforgiveness.  In fact, the Bible says that we cannot love Jesus and hate others at the same time (John 4:20).  Scripture also says that our enemy is not flesh and blood, but the ruler of this dark world (Eph 6).  Jonathan once rephrased it this way in a message, “If it has flesh and blood, it’s not your enemy!”  How freeing is that!?!

I know this all sounds great in theory.  Putting it into practice when you are hurting deeply, however, is a different matter.  It’s not easy!  Thankfully, the Bible also tells me what I should do when I am struggling with those who have inflicted hurt.  Matthew 5:43-48 tells the Christian that we are to love our “enemies” and pray for those who hurt us.  Luke 6:28 reinforces this same principle and says, “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” (NIV)  It is hard to stay angry and bitter when you are praying for someone and asking God to bless them. 

In the counseling world, we talk about triggers.  They are situations or thoughts that signal to someone that something deeper is going on.  I have learned to take those moments when my true enemy (Satan) brings up the past and my mind starts going to that negative place and use it as a trigger.  It is an indicator that I need to stop, pray for that person (or people), and ask God to bless them.  Through this process, I am the one who ultimately is most blessed!

This process does not start automatically.  You must make an active choice.  Forgiveness is not a one-time event.  Every time those thoughts or feelings pop up, you have to use self-control and choose once again, to forgive.  Eventually, your heart moves.  Scripture says that “As a man thinks, so is he.”  The more I can train my thoughts to pray for and bless those who have hurt me, the more likely I am to genuinely love my “enemy.”  This provides more fertile ground for Godly reconciliation to occur. 

I think one last issue with forgiveness is how it is lumped in with many misconceptions.  I cannot say it better, so here’s a list of what forgiveness is not from the Driscoll’s book Real Marriage.

• Forgiveness is not denying, approving or diminishing sin that is committed against us.
• Forgiveness is not naivety.
• Forgiveness is not enabling sin.
• Forgiveness is not waiting for someone to acknowledge sin, apologize, and repent.
• Forgiveness is not forgetting about sin committed against us.
• Forgiveness is not dying emotionally and no longer feeling the pain of transgression.
• Forgiveness is not a one-time event.
• Forgiveness is not reconciliation.
• Forgiveness is not neglecting justice.

So what are you holding on to?  Let it go!  This quote from Mansfield was a HUGE help for me in reframing my mind on forgiveness.

“Even if everyone involved in your hurtful situation instantly agreed with your perspective on the facts, it would not heal the damage that has been done to your insides.”

Nothing can change the past and the hurt you experienced.  You can change your future, however, by choosing to walk forward in forgiveness.

Forgiveness is loving despite sin.  We do not forgive others because they are good or deserving, but rather because God is good and deserving.  Forgiveness is an ongoing lifestyle that is incredibly costly to us and lived out of love for God and others.  – Driscoll

~ Wounds from the Church: Reality Check ~

One thought that has helped me as I have pondered wounds from the church the last few months is that of expectations.  I am not minimizing that people have sinned against me (or at times I have been guilty of the same).  The Bible clearly states that all have sinned and fall short of God’s perfect standard (Rom. 3:23).  I would propose, however, that wounds are deepened based on our expectations. 

I have sisters.  My relationships with all of them are as different as all our personalities.  Two sisters could respond the exact same way to me in a given situation and with one I may feel hurt while with the other there are no hard feelings.  Why is that?  It’s because I expect different things from each one based on our relationship, personalities, and season of life. 

I have found that pain pierces more deeply when it takes me by surprise.  In my most recent church hurt, I was not at all surprised by the actions of a few people.  Yes, it hurt, but they acted the way I expected them to based on past experience, the level of relationship, and spiritual maturity.  There were several others, however, that did not respond as I expected.  I felt a greater degree of hurt from those individuals because I was not expecting it.  

So where am I going with all of this?  Knowing that all people are sinners, I should not be surprised when people sin against me.  It is a fact of life.  It is not right or fair for me to expect my “friends” or others to serve as functional saviors.  The only ONE who will never let me down is Jesus.  Trying to force a person into that role will only leave me disappointed and with an idol problem. 

We have to learn to live in community with this tension… trusting others while at the same time knowing realistically that a time will come that sin will create messiness between us. 

Stephen Mansfield says, “What this means practically is that the very people we hug on Sunday morning or welcome into our homes for cell groups are beings who both bear the image of God and evidence of the scars of evil, who both strive to live the truths of God and yet sometimes descend into the character of pagans.”

Keeping this realistic expectation will help prevent deeper hurt.  I won’t be so surprised next time when a brother or sister in Christ sins against me.  This prepares my heart in advance to bestow grace and forgiveness. 

One last thought on expectations is the western evangelical idea that being a Christian means you won’t suffer or face difficulties in this life.  We have turned comfort and happiness into our goal rather than holiness.  The Bible promises the exact opposite (remember Jesus saying, “In this world you will have trouble”). 

Stephen Mansfield says it well when he states, “Great men and women of God are not exempt from hurt and offense.  Instead, enduring the wounds of fellow Christians with mercy and grace seems to be the call of every true saint, and we should not expect it to be any different in our own lives.”  Read the biography of a great saint and you will see repeated hardships! 

Mansfield goes on to say, “Christianity is not the absence of stupidity and hurt.  Christianity is the message of a God who uses our stupidity and hurt to make us what we are destined to be.”

My challenge for you is to honestly seek God and ask Him to reveal to you your expectations.  Ask Him to show you what expectations you are holding people to that are unrealistic and unfair.  Ask Him to show you how to use your hurt and “stupidity” to grow you closer to Him and to advance the Gospel. 

~New Blog Series: Wounds from the Church ~

You don’t have to attend church for very long before you realize you are surrounded by sinners (including you!).  The potential for being hurt and wounded surrounds you.   This fact is only compounded when you are in ministry!  Your life becomes a fishbowl with everyone watching and making some sort of judgment.  You literally can’t win: 

• Don’t be too standoffish yet don’t be overly friendly and come off as lacking genuine care. 
• Your kids can’t ever misbehave or you are horrible parents while at the same time if your children are too well behaved then people assume you are too perfect or out of touch to relate with. 
• You attend a ministry such as MOPS and you automatically are associated with any beliefs, agendas, or gossip that takes place but if you don’t attend MOPS then you must obviously be against it. 

People often approach you as a role you play or a position and forget you are a person with feelings too.  I can’t tell you how many people have come up to me complaining about my husband.  Um, hello!  He’s my husband and it hurts my feelings for you to gossip about him to me.

You’ve heard the saying, “The only things in life that are certain are death and taxes.”  I would add to that, “Being hurt and sinned against.”  I had one dear friend who confided in me that she was terrified that we would hurt one another and ruin our relationship.  My response to her was, of course we are going to hurt one another… we are both sinners.  It doesn’t have to ruin our relationship, though.  Our continued relationship is based on how we choose to respond in the hurt. 

This is the same with the church.  I have seen many people walk away from the church altogether (and some from ministry) because of a deep wound that was inflicted from someone in the church.  If I am totally honest with myself, I have to sometimes question, “How in the world have I not given up on the church with the pains I have endured… many being the most painful wounds of my life?”   That is where this blog series is coming from.  It is the result of me answering that question to myself over and over the last few months after having endured a deep wound from the church. 

I could easily fill up a blog series of all the nasty and hurtful church experiences we have been through.  The very last thing I want, however, is for someone to stumble upon my blog and feel they have more ammunition to walk away from the body of Christ.  Instead, I am writing this series in hopes that a person about to walk away from church stumbles upon it and is encouraged to take a second look.  I hope you will find it thought provoking, challenging, edifying, and encouraging. 

Recommended reading -  

ReChurch: Healing Your Way Back to the People of God by Stephen Mansfield

How People Change by Timothy S. Lane & Paul David Tripp

 

~ Transitioning to a Church Plant ~

A very heartfelt and sincere quesiton was asked at our last Life Church Michigan informational gathering.  The question was:

How do you go about transitioning to being a part of this new church when attending another church on Sunday mornings?

I had the opportunity to add to Jonathan's wisdom on this, but came up empty in the moment.  I have had a chance to really process this the last few days.  Here are my thoughts...

First of all, I whole-heartedly agree with what Jonathan stated in answering.  It's ok to attend another church on Sunday mornings right now.  Our family is attending a church on Sundays.  It is important especially with children to provide a church experience.  We are not having services right now.  We don't have children or student ministries set up.  An informational meeting is not a church worship service so we would expect and hope that people are attending church!

That said, a time will come when Life Church Michigan does have an engaging, gospel-centered, life-giving worship service and ministries which provide the best hour in your kids' week!  It is in that moment, that a person needs to pray and seek the Lord as to where He is calling them.  It is not ok to straddle the fence and provide half-hearted commitments to more than one church.  So, how does one go about making this decision?

I think the hardest part of leaving a church when you sense God calling you to do so, is how it affects your relationships.  Hopefully you have connected with the church and have some meaningful relationships built up from the experience.  Leaving a church often means accepting that those relationships will look different and change.  The purpose of the church, however, is not to provide you with a social life.  If the only reason you are staying at a particular church is because of the social life and friends it provides you, I would humbly say you are missing the point.  Don't get me wrong - friendships should develop in the church and they are great.  They are not the purpose though. The funny thing is that when you focus on the mission of Jesus, He naturally brings those meaningful relationships alongside you.

The purpose of the church is to equip the saints.  Committing to a local body of believers is establishing a covenant with them.  When considering this, Stephen Mansfield says one should ask questions such as

How do they view God?

What do they think He has called them to do?

Who is in charge and what authority do they have?

What have they set out themselves to do in the world?

What do they expect of their members?

Are you and your family called in the same way, to the same purposes that these people sense for themselves?

The next thing to consider is whether a particular pastor is a fit for you and your family.  The Bible says that your pastor is a gift from God.  His primary purpose is to teach and train the people to do the works of God.  Your pastor should have authority in your life.  This authority is not to make you feel scolded or guilty, it should be authority that makes you feel built up and encouraged.  So the second question to consider is:

Can this pastor train you and build you up to fulfill your destiny in the body of Christ?

The last question to consider is regarding how God has gifted and wired you.  He has a purpose and wants to use you to minister in the local body of Christ.  Stephen Mansfield says, "you are choosing a portion of the body of Christ to serve with your gifts."  So the question to wrestle with is:

Does this church provide me with the opportunity to fully serve in the way God has gifted and wired me?

I hope this helps as people pray through what church God is calling them to be a part of. 

Should God call you to leave your church, please do so in a God-honoring way!  Be honest.  Confess sins where need be.  Pray for the church and bless them on your way out. 

*thanks to Stephen Mansfield's book ReChurch chapter 7 for spurring me on with this topic

 

~ The Miracles We Don't See ~

I was reading in Joshua this morning and came across this part of the story of the Israelites as they are about to enter the promised land in chapter 3...

14 So when the people set out from their tents to pass over the Jordan with the priests bearing lthe ark of the covenant before the people, 15 and as soon as those bearing the ark had come as far as the Jordan, and mthe feet of the priests bearing the ark were dipped in the brink of the water (now nthe Jordan overflows all its banks othroughout the time of harvest), 16 the waters coming down from above stood and rose up in a heap very far away, at Adam, the city that is beside pZarethan, and those flowing down toward the Sea of qthe Arabah, rthe Salt Sea, were completely cut off. And the people passed over opposite Jericho. 17 Now the priests bearing the ark of the covenant of the Lord stood firmly on dry ground in the midst of the Jordan, sand all Israel was passing over on dry ground until all the nation finished passing over the Jordan.

This is a classic story.  I've written about how it has spoken to me personally before.  I just love the story of God redeeming Israel!  It continues to speak to me again and again!

Anyone who has attended church their whole life or read through the Old Testament is very familiar with the story.  Moses leads God's people out of Egypt (and slavery).  They wander in the desert for 40 years while God performs miracles to provide for them again and again.  Eventually, God uses Joshua to lead them into the promised land.  God once again uses a miracle by parting the waters of the Jordan river when the priests obey and step into it.  The people of God safely pass through (similar to when they flee Egypt) and enter the promised land. 

The part of the story that you may have missed (as I'm sure I have repeatedly) is where the miracle occurs.  The priests step into the water in faith.  The river dries up for the people to cross.  The actual miracle, however, does not occur where they can see it.  Verse 16 says, "the waters coming down from above stood and rose up in a heap very far away."  God performed the miracle of stopping the water from flowing out of their line of sight.  The Israelites only saw the effects of the miracle God performed.  Can you imagine what that was like?  You think Joshua and the priests are crazy to step into the rushing water, yet God promised He would be with you.  Soon after the first steps of faith, the water seems to just disappear.  The miracle you needed and was promised occurs! 

You don't understand it. 

You don't see it. 

You feel it!

The land beneath your feet isn't just the gushy mud of a river bed.  It is dry ground!

Are you in need of a miracle right now?  Are you waiting for God to deliver you?  Move forward in faith - listening to His voice.  Maybe the miracle is already occurring.  You just can't see it's effects just yet.

~ The God Who Sees ~

I recently read a blog post from another pastor's wife that reminded me of the story of Hagar.  Remember her?  Abraham & Sarah had waited patiently for God to bless them with a child.  God did not seem to be working on their timetable so Sarah took things into her own hands.  She had Abraham lay with her servant Hagar.  This lead to a great deal of disfunction in the household to say the least!  Sarah became bitter and jealous and mistreated Hagar.  Hagar had enough at one point and fled into the desert.  The angel of the LORD finds her sitting by a spring of water.  God ministers to her and encourages her.  He tells her to go back and also that she will have a son.  Hagar gives God the name - the God who sees.

God has used this piece of scripture to minister to me continually over the last several weeks.  I have noticed new things not before seen.

The whole disfunction of the community began because Abraham & Sarah were unwilling to wait and trust in the Lord.  They took matters into their own hands rather than obeying and the result was chaos, hurt and disfunction.  

Ever notice that God seems to take His people to the desert in order to experience life's greatest blessings?  Hagar was in the desert before she came face to face with the Lord.  Furthermore, the text says, "the angel of the LORD found her."  What a beautiful picture!  Hagar was alone, sad, scared, confused, and so on.  God didn't wait for her to come to Him.  He pursued her and found her!  God always pursues His children.  We, also, should pursue those who are hurting even when they are not seeking us.

God does not completely deliver Hagar.  He tells her to go back to Abraham and Sarah.  She must live where she is not really wanted and has no strong supportive relationships.  She receives her greatest blessing in the midst of these trials in the form of her son.  

So how does she do it?  How does she live among those who mistreat her?  How does she keep herself from becoming bitter?  How does she protect her son from being treated differently?  How does she go on with hope in her heart?  

God sees her.

Hagar has come face to face with the living God.  She knows without a doubt that He has seen her.  He is familiar with all of her ways.  He knows every detail of her life.  He has saved all of her tears in a bottle (Psalms 56:8).  He sees her and He is working. 

God sees her fears.

God sees her hurt.

God sees how she is mistreated and hurt by those she is in community with.

God sees her heart to honor Him.

What an amazing encouragement! 

~ Looking unto Jesus. ~

...we will never find comort or assurance by looking within.  But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self.  He tells us that we are nothing, but that "Christ is all in all."  Remember, therefore, that it is not your hold of Christ that saves you; it is Christ.  It is not your joy in Christ that saves you; it is Christ.  It is not even your faith in Christ, though that is the instrument, but it is Christ's blood and His merits that save you; therefore, do not look as much to your hand, with which you are grasping Christ, as to Christ.  Do not look to your hope, but to Jesus, the source of your hope.  Do not look to your faith, but to "Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith" (Heb. 12:2).  We will never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our actions, or our feelings.  It is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul.  If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by "looking unto Jesus."  Keep your eyes simply on Him.  Let His death, His sufferings, His merits, His glories, and His intercession be fresh on your mind.  When you wake in the morning, look to Him.  When you lie down at night, look to Him.  Oh, do not let your hopes or fears come between you and Jesus.  Follow hard after Him, and He will never fail you.

- Charles Spurgeon, Morning & Evening

~ Redemption ~

Today is Easter Sunday!  We remember and celebrate the ultimate redemption of Jesus conquering death and rescuing all who call on His name!  We experience redemption in so many little ways each day...often unnoticed.  I had my own redemption moment while sitting in the church service today.

It was two years ago that we made the bittersweet decision to transition our church plant into the congregation of one of our supporting churches.  It happened right after Easter...in April.  The last Sunday was very emotional for me.  I think I cried through every song the band played that morning!  One song they played was "Broken" by Lifehouse.  The words were truly resonating with me.  I was falling apart.  I had no idea what the future held.  I knew we were on the right path, but that didn't mean I understood it.  Clearly God had called us to plant this church, yet why did He choose not to sustain it?  So many questions whirled in my mind.   

Music can have this funny power over you.  I find that certain songs can almost instantly take me back to a memory.  I kind of have that happen whenever I hear "Broken" on the radio.  I remember standing side by side with my friends on the last Sunday of our church plant - knowing the whole time that everything is about to change!

Flashforward to this morning.  The band began to play and the guitar tune sounded familiar.  The song?  "Broken" by Lifehouse.  Instantly I was transported back to the memory of our church plant.  This time, however, I was able to look around this audotorium filled with people.  We would never be here if it weren't for that moment two years ago.  I looked around and saw literally hundreds and hundreds of people celebrating and worshiping Jesus!  I saw several lives changed for eternity as people prayed to receive Christ this morning.  I found myself praying silently, "Thank You, Jesus."  I was once again brought to a place where I was filled with gratitude for the brokenness that God had allowed us to experience.  God was redeeming it before my eyes! 

This is why when the tough times come, I continue to hold on.  I know there IS healing in His name and He ultimately brings meaning and redemption to it all!

~ Lessons in Stewardship from a 4 year old ~

Jon and I have been wanting to set up some sort of commission for Josiah since we went through Financial Peace University.  Life got a little chaotic for a while and it got put on the back burner.  We just started our system a couple weeks ago.  It's been a great experience and has got me thinking...how much are we adults like a 4 year old?

The system is simple (and derived from www.simplemom.net).  Josiah gets a sticker for each day that he completes each "chore."  He receives a nickle for each sticker at the end of the week. 

Our goal is to teach him that 1) you work hard to earn money and 2) you need to manage your money well.  We count out his earnings and then tell him to divide it up between giving to the church, saving some in the bank and keeping some in an envelope in Mom's purse to spend. 

The first week, his eyes were sparkling off the reflection of the coins before him.  He was eager to grab them all for himself.  We stopped and reminded him that his money is going to three places.  I took some money aside to give to church and he immediately protested!  I explained that one way we show God we love Him is by giving back to His church.  And isn't God so generous to let us keep most of it?  He wasn't so sure, but acquiesced.  I took another portion aside for his bank account (which we plan to match for him) and then he had a whole dollar left for spending (a lot for a 4 year old!). 

I thought a lot about his response and realized how many adults are just like that.  We get our hard-earned dollars and don't want to let go!  Many times there is no concern for giving to God's work.  Many times there is also no concern to be wise and save.  Many times there is no concern for even managing well what we have to spend (budgeting, etc.).  Our country is full of a bunch of developmental toddlers when it comes to money!

There can be good news though!  Here's what happened the second week Josiah got paid...

I presented him with all the money he earned for the week.  He was equally eager to snatch it up!  I stopped and asked him, "where's one place your money goes?"  He answered, "church!"  I set aside a portion of his earnings for giving...without protest from the wage earner.  I asked him, "where's another place your money goes?"  He replied, "the bank!"  I put that money aside...again without protest.  I asked him, "where's the last place your money goes?"  He excitedly answered, "to spend!"  I put the largest portion of his money in his envelope in my purse. 

I was very surprised and proud that Josiah had so quickly learned some basics of stewardship.  I started thinking about why and how?  I think it was because 1) he had accountability (from us) and 2) he started to develop a habit. 

This can be the same for us adults.  We can easily learn to be good managers of our money and stewards of God's resources.  We need to develop some sort of accountability (with a spouse or close friend).  We also need to just start doing it - giving and saving.  It becomes easier the more you do it!  Each time you put that check in the offering plate, your joy increases.  Your bank account may be getting emptier, but your heart is getting fuller!  Every time you choose to transfer that money over to the savings account rather than having an extra meal out to eat, the easier it is to set money aside in the future.  You find yourself wanting to sacrifice more and more to see that savings account grow and grow (or extra money to your debt making it shrink and shrink!). 

Who knows?  Your accountability may come when you are paying your toddler their earnings!

For more info on how to begin managing your money well, go to www.josephsangl.com