Ainsleigh turned one month old on March 26th. I just finally got these pictures off my camera though! I have many other pictures to share in the coming week too (Easter, 2 Months, T-Ball). I have turned into one of those people who needs time to touch up my photos before posting so sorry it is taking me a while! Here are a few I got done tonight. These were taken in the outfit in which Josiah calls her his "little strawberry shortcake". Sadly, she no longer fits in it. :-(
March 26, 2012
I've been having a little fun during my semi-conscious hours by having mini photo shoots with my baby girl. I think they turned out great. :-)
What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and everything nice! It's a good thing we have a sweet tooth in this family because we just got a whole bunch of sugar!
Introducing...
Ainsleigh Grace
Born February 26, 2012
5 lbs 13 oz
18.7 inches long
Isn't she just the sweetest most beautiful little thing?!? I am super excited to add some more girl power to the Herron household!
And Josiah is super excited to be the protective big brother!
The new and improved Herron family!
Our lives were touched by adoption five years ago with the arrival of baby Josiah. Many people ask us if we are going to adopt another child.
The answer is, "We'd love to!"
We are currently working with a Christian agency that has a strong track record - Adoption Associates. In addition, we are also welcoming the help of our family, friends, and blog friends to help us network to locate a birthmom.
Keep your eyes and ears open - - if you hear of someone with an unplanned pregnancy considering making an adoption plan, point them to our online Adoption Profile and we'll do the rest! Thanks for partnering with us in our family's journey!
This is the final posting for this series! I did not want to leave things on a low note!
I mentioned in the previous post that I had written this whole series about a year ago. I would open up the document and read it over every so often, but did not feel that it was the right time to post it til now. This also means that it has left the story unfinished. My final post is basically an update on all that happened in the last year!
It was about one year ago, that Jonathan and I sat across the dinner table from Joe Sangl. We had tears in our eyes as we shared our entire family's desire to add another member. Joe seemed like the perfect confidant for a number of reasons.
The first was that he and his wife had experienced the same dynamics of heartbreak in wanting another child. He spent countless nights tucking in his daugther while she pleaded for a sibling. He and his wife had exhausted all biological/medical efforts with no results. (God performed a miracle and provided a baby brother last year - read about that here!)
The second reason we opened up to Joe was that we respect how he is winning with money. He would understand our desire and commitment to become debt free along with the tension of needing thousands to adopt again. His advice and direction would be financially sound.
We expected him to empathize with our desires, but also to encourage us to stick to the discipline and keep paying off that debt! We were surprised by his response. Joe looked back at us with tenderness in his eyes and suggested that we put our debt snowball on hold and begin saving for adoption (as well as the sale of our home in Ohio). He also encouraged us to continue down the path of foster to adopt simultaneously if we felt like God was leading that direction.
We walked away with a plan to start focusing on saving. We had a decent amount saved in a few months. We also got licensed as foster parents.
It was the beginning of August when we had a 2 year old and a 10 month old placed with us. We were excited, overwhelmed and outnumbered! The adrenaline quickly wore down, however, with each sleepless night. This was only compounded when in the midst of some of the most stressful days of parenting 3 kiddos, we found out that there was virtually no chance for us to adopt them. What seemed like 3 months was actually only 3 weeks and the kiddos moved on. It seemed increasingly clear that foster to adopt was not the best option for us in this season of life.
We took the small amount saved (part of which came from random generous gifts from others!) and began the private infant adoption process. We knew we didn't have the full amount saved to pay for the whole adoption process, but we trusted God would provide. We also knew that changes to the adoption tax credit would eventually be a huge help to pay off any debt we might incur.
We wrote checks for the first few services - so far so good. I looked at the fee schedule for what was next. I was already at the point of not really knowing where the money would come from. That same week, we received a generous check for our adoption in the mail. The next hurdle passed and still no new debt incurred!
Our home study was fully updated and our profile "active" by January of 2011! Our savings in our adoption fund had also dwindled down. I had just sent out a prayer email to family about praying for God's provision for just the next fee that would come our way once linked. That same week, we finally had a tax exemption we applied for 8 months prior approved. Our amended return would more than cover that next fee! I was amazed at God's timing and provision! Nothing would prepare me, however, for what He would do next! I realized early in our tax preparation for 2010 that the changes to the adoption tax credit would actually benefit us now due to a carry over from Josiah's adoption! This will provide even more cash to go towards our final adoption expenses. We may still incur a very small amount of debt (you never know depending on the situation) but overall, we feel very positive and blessed!
God has done the unthinkable in our finite minds in the last year. He provided a buyer for our house in Ohio. He provided generous and unexpected gifts from others. He has allowed us to somehow still continue to pay off debt (40,000 in the last 2 years - including all adoption debt!). He has provided a very strong foundation of cash as we continue to move forward in the adoption process.
One year ago, I was despondent and tearful. We stepped out in faith, discipline and obedience and God met us more than half way. I never imagined that a year later, we would have the hope that we have now. A year later our conversations are filled with ideas for baby names. A year later we can say to Josiah, "when you become a big brother," and have confidence that it will happen sooner than later.
I guess I would end this series with this - I thank God for our infertility. We have allowed Him to turn our mourning into dancing (Psalm 30)! God has truly blessed us through our journey of infertility. Every single tear that was cried was worth the blessing and joy of adopting Josiah. Every single person that God has given us an opportunity to minister to and not waste our suffering makes it worthwhile (2 Cor 1:4). Every single financial blessing bestowed upon us with hearts that join us in our adoption journey reminds us that we are not walking the path alone. My husband and I are infertile. My husband and I are blessed!
Read here for part 1 and part 2
Jonathan and I nervously awaited the doctor in the cold examination room. We speculated on what he would say. The shred of hope we were holding onto was crushed with what the doctor shared with us. He gave us one further test we could pursue with almost no guarantees. He also gave us a very trite solution that we 100% morally disagreed with. We chased the one rabbit trail presented to us, but only had to go a little ways to realize we were now a statistic (One in six couples is infertile. In 40 per cent of cases the problem rests with the male, in 40 per cent with the female, ten per cent with both partners, and in a further ten per cent of cases, the cause is unknown).
I don’t know if it was God’s protection and empowerment or my own denial, but my response now began to change. I was almost numb. I remember describing to others that the feeling was like I had always known this would happen. I remember after marriage and that little discussion on our honeymoon thinking, “we aren’t going to be able to have biological children.” It was a sort of intuition. I remember also thinking and praying, “God, I knew this was going to be revealed. And now it is.”
Jonathan and I responded to our news by seeking out information. We immediately sought out books to educate and comfort us. We also immediately knew we would adopt. Adoption had always been on our hearts. Our plan was to have two biological children and then wait several years and adopt two children. Making the shift to adoption was not a difficult one. Yes, we had to grieve the loss of the child(ren) we would never have. There would be no child with my hazel eyes or the crazy fast metabolism on Jon’s side. This did not, however, prevent us from the openness of loving and fully accepting a child not born to us.
Adoption became our new major goal in life. We moved to a different area of the country to help us afford the process. Jon changed jobs. I became employed in the field of foster care and adoption with the sole motivation of learning the system from the inside out. All of our financial decisions were made with the intent of squeezing more money into savings to adopt. Our dreams were about to come true.
We sent in our initial application to the adoption agency in May of 2006. The agency quickly completed our required paperwork. We were official by the beginning of July. We received several opportunities with birth moms and were rejected (as expected). It was only the beginning of August, however when we met our future child’s birthmother. It would only be another month later when our son, Josiah Nathan, would be born (ever have a 1 month pregnancy?).
Here is where a big myth of infertility will be displayed. A couple – the woman in particular – still struggles with infertility even when the dream of becoming a parent is coming true. For example, it was a loss to me to have to ask Josiah’s birth mom what it felt like when he moved in the womb.
My struggle began to take on a guilty tone. I vividly remember watching Josiah’s birth (thanks to an amazing and dedicated birthmom!) and feeling so guilty. I felt horrible about the pain she was going through. I kept thinking, “this pain should be mine.” At the same time, I felt guilty that I could not fully share the joy of my firstborn son with my family. There was no family of ours at the hospital because at that moment in time, Josiah was not our son. We each quickly called our moms and that was it. We were excited about our sweet baby boy, but unable to truly celebrate his life with our family at that moment.
My feelings of guilt would only spiral from that moment. Our adoption worker encouraged us to have a somewhat formal “handing over of the baby” ceremony when Josiah’s birthmom was about to be discharged from the hospital. It was one of the most emotionally challenging moments of my life. There was not a dry eye in the room. Yes, my dream was coming true, but at a cost. My joy was mingled with sorrow for the loss of Josiah’s birth family (yes it is still a loss even in an open adoption!).
to be continued...
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